I called my friend & former co-worker, Deana today. Last month her 34 year old daughter died suddenly from surgical complications. It was shocking. I was at Deana’s wedding; I was there when her children were born. My kids, Jerline & Eric were 13, 14 years old & would babysit for Deana when she wanted to go out. Her kids loved it when they babysat & my kids were mature enough to take good care of a 2, 3 year old. Unbeknownst to me, my Grandson, Michael knew LaRonda. I couldn’t attend the funeral; he went to represent the family. As I spoke with her today, we reflected about another friend, Marilyn who has also passed on. How spiritual she was & how she taught us both to accept people where they were & to be forgiving.She confided that grief counselling had been mentioned for her & family in wake of LaRonda’s sudden death. She had a 11 year old son, who is devastated. The woman who called her is a well respected funeral director in town. I told her I knew Mary & it would be good for them She said she had been thinking about it but I gave her the impetus to go ahead with it. We spoke of her Mom & my Dad, who have both passed; we talked about working together & partying together; how we don’t always see one another, but always come together when needed. We worked at Bell Tel for 20 years together. Our lives are ever intertwined. I’m glad I called her & was able to uplift her spirit. I love you, Deana Gibbs Sykes.
My Black Rose
She has flown home, in a plane of silence, flown home surrounded by the love of her good and dutiful daughter and her fine , strong sons.
She has flown home, in the arms of love from her sisters & brothers, her 2 grand daughters, whom she loved fiercely & through them her life will ever shine.
She has flown home, enveloped in the love of sisters & brothers-in-laws, nieces & nephews, friends & neighbors, co-workers, she touched each one of us.
She has flown home & we weep, for ourselves; for we may think her smile & laughter, her loving ways & her tough spirit have been taken from us……not so……
She has flown into our hearts & minds. Her spirit will endure & spread, like ripples in a pond- in ever widening circles of love & we will feel her light & love around us. We shall be joyous for her.
She has flown home & she is free!!!
In the African tradition, any time you want to speak with her, call her name, pour libations & say “Asai” ( Ah Shay), for she has joined the ancestors.
For Rosemary Murphy 4/27/1947-7/28/1998
Misunderstanding
My 47 year old daughter is not talking to me. She got mad around July 16th. She says I don’t like her taste in men and that’s what the tiff is about. Actually she’s mad at me because I called her cards on some slick shit she was trying to pull over on me. I peeped it, called her on it and she got mad. I’m not mad about her not talking to me, I’ve done nothing to her. Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got. I forgive her and I forgive myself. I’m keeping ot movin’. Peace
Changes
As I contemplate my move to Tampa, many thoughts go through my mind. I think I’ve been a good Mom & GMom; tried to be there for my family & friends. I will now live the life I want to live. I want quiet, some solitude & peace. And so it shall be.
Real People, Real Hearts.
Just watched “The Postman” with Kevin Costner. I’ve passed it by many times, not wanting to invest 4 hours at one time. Today I saw it was coming on & watched it. It was a very good film. I’ve always liked Kevin as an actor. There is something about him that resonates in me. Denzel Washington, Anthony Hopkins, DeNiro are like that.Their roles are varied, some good, some bad; but they make you feel something. I think it’s because their humanity is palpable, that they’re good people overall. When I heard Kevin speak at Whitney Houston’s memorial, he brought tears to my eyes. As he spoke about his early upbringing & the values he learned, I could relate. He doesn’t go with the status quo, He’s willing to take a chance, do things differently & back his convictions. As he spoke about Whitney I was glad that she had a chance to have a friend that accepted her, cared about her even when she was’nt at her best. His final words to the “young girls” to guard their bodies & go for their dreams was inspiring. I could tell he really was sad, but proud of his friend. And he showed it. Love Kevin Costner for that.
Lunch with Tin Lizzy.
Liz called. She’s going to stop by around 12.30. I go into the kitchen, make a pot of good, strong coffee. Made some turkey & ham sandwiches, from leftover Thanksgiving food, of course. I stood at the window, scanning the weather, waiting for Liz to arrive. Her son wasn’t exactly sure where I lived, so I kept my eye out for them. When his truck pulled up, I went to the front door to greet & hug her. She stepped out of the car, I saw her with head bowed, shoulders slumped & shuffling like a blind woman. My eyes instantly filled with tears; by this time I’m on the porch. I quickly wipe my eyes as my mind screams, BIG SMILE,BIG SMILE. I put a smile on my face as she reached the porch & raised her head. Her eyes were wild & I could feel the pain emanating from them; the sadness in her was palpable. I hugged her hard & felt her body shaking as she tried to hug me back. My great granddaughter, Amonye’, 2 years old, doesn’t take to strangers. But she came right up to Liz, touched her long nails & smiled at her. Then she ran to the back of the house looking for Aunt Michelle. I told Liz, “My baby likes you”. She smiled wryly & said “I’m glad she does, because I don’t like myself”. I made a joke & invited her to eat. She told me she was on a hunger strike. She’s wants to die, she’s depressed, she’s hurting from family issues & nothing can be fixed. I talked with her, listened mostly. There was a lot on her mind. Old hurts from family, health issues, loneliness & hopelessness were taking a toll on her. She stayed for 2 hours, panic attacks not withstanding, she cried. I prayed. I don’t know quite how to help my firend but some phone calls will be made to agencies dealing with mental health. I finally enticed her to eat with the promise of a piece of sweet potato pie. She promised me she would’nt do anything crazy, she was going to try one day at a time. She doesn’t want to talk to a therapist or anything. I’ll keep praying & calling her to see what I can do.
I found my friend.
Tin Lizzy is my friend. She came to New Jersey in 1996 from Newark. She had worked at Ma bell, the original phone company and so had I. We hit it off as soon as we met. We worked as PBX operators in a casino in Atlantic City. I won’t name it; it’s big & gaudy like its’ owner. She didn’t have a easy life, but the job paid well & had great benefits and she & I raised our 2 kids during the late 60’s, early 70’s. We were in a union CWA, could bargain for raises & benefits, life was good. Due to poor health so took a buyout from Bell and I relocated to California in 1992. For the first time in our lives, we were working a non-union job, that could fire you at will with no recourse. Wages were low @ ten dollars an hour, compared to the fourteen/fifteen dollars an hour the phone company paid. The job was fun, we had a great group of operators, male & female. Work got done. As the years passed, we talked family & home and came to a understanding of the different yet similiar paths our lives had taken. Liz’s Mom died in 1999 and I saw my friend sink deep into depression. We always talked politics, religion & history; had lively discussions about everything. But as the depression & loneliness consumed her I could do nothing to help but listen. Coming from a big family & being the oldest, she always looked out for her family. As she slipped into depression & needed them the most, they had no time for her. She had no money or things to give them anymore, so to hell with her. The tipping point was when she was fired in late 2005, November. The abyss opened and in she fell. I tried to reach out, stay in contact, but one day she came to my house and told me she had packed up her house, gave away a lot of her stuff, was moving back to Newark. Sick, depressed and lonely, I feared for my friend. Her son assured me she would be okay, he’d look after her and keep in touch. That was in December, 2010.By March her cell was off, I lost her address and could’nt find her other son to inquire after her. Facebook is good for something, I found her niece on there and got her phone number. She’s back in my area, a little worse for wear, but still standing. I called her tonight and when I heard her voice my heart was full and my tears flowed. We’re going to meet tomorrow for lunch. God is good. I found my friend again.
Hello world!
I’m real new to this blog thingy, so here goes. These are my thoughts, feelings, goals, plans & daydreams. I’m retired, contemplating a move to Florida & thinking about how to get my grands down to see them often. Toodles.
My Higher Education 